I’ve recently found myself hooked on the Netflix series “One Day”. The nostalgia of life in the 1990s lured me in, and now I can’t get it out of my mind.
There’s one scene (it’s ok, no spoilers, I’m still only on episode 4), where two friends are at a restaurant while on holiday in Greece. Besides the brilliant acting and fantastic dialogue, what I noticed was the absence of mobile phones. Had it been depicting the same scene in 2024, there would likely be phones in the characters’ pocket, bag, or sitting next to their glasses on the table.
They may have contacted other people during the course of the dinner, taken a selfie to show others what they’re up to in that moment, or disengaged from conversation with one another to interact remotely with others. It could have caused a different scene.
The smartphone is something that has evolved to become integrated into our daily personal and work lives. Much as it has transformed the world for the better, it’s commonly recognised that its use also has potential to be detrimental to a person’s sense of balance.
A recent guest of the podcast, Vicky Shilling, shared her advice on how she manages herself, and supports her clients, to maintain a balance in relation to phone use and engagement in social media.
Vicky is a wellness business mentor, self-belief coach, and host of the podcast “Just Start Now”.
With a sizeable online following, she is both a prolific creator and consumer of social media, so well aware of the risks that phone use carries, both for productivity and mental health. She is particularly mindful of the negative impacts of social media, for example, leading people to measure themselves against one another, which can cause a downward spiral of self-doubt and anxiety.
During our conversation, Vicky explained her approach to finding balance in relation to phone use and engagement in social media, which I’ve summarised into the following tips:
💌 Use an automated “out of office” message to manage expectations of people trying to reach you. Much as it may feel like you need or want to answer every message immediately, doing so can take its toll. Setting boundaries that suit you, and communicating this to others so they know what to expect, can help create a sense of control and avoid overwhelm. Vicky has crafted an “out of office” message that she swears by, and offers others to copy, paste, and tweak it for themselves. Check out her contact details on the show notes of our podcast episode.
🤓Accept that the digital designers are very clever! Mobile phone technology is designed to grab and hold your attention. So go easy on yourself when you feel yourself falling prey to its temptations.
🤔 Be “mindful curators” of who you follow on social media and check in with how it’s making you feel, and why you’re using it. It’s not all bad! If you’re using it in a way that you enjoy, find informative, or helps your productivity, then that’s great. But take notice when it stops feeling good; when it leaves you feeling bad about yourself, lonely, or you realise you’re comparing yourself unfavourably with others, it’s probably time to take a break.
❌ Be bold about unfollowing social media content that compromises your sense of balance, even if it’s an account of a friend or someone you admire. You can always go back to following them again when you’re in a different frame of mind.
📵 Take a digital detox from time to time. Switching off can make you realise how much time you’re spending on your phone and what else you could be doing instead. Vicky says that doing this for an extended period throughout the year creates an opportunity for her to cut out the noise from everyone else and tune in, and trust, her own voice.
📧 Consider removing emails from your phone. By not having access to your inbox when you’re out and about, you can be creative on your device in other ways when you get a free moment like standing in a queue or waiting for a train. Vicky says removing emails from her phone relieves the pressure of needing to respond to things until she’s back at her desk and able to give them the required attention.
👯♂️ Create a discipline of not having your phone to hand when you’re in the company of others. Vicky gives the example of when she visits her family abroad, she keeps a physical distance from her phone. That way, she says she remains present in the moment, and enjoys the company of people that she is with, without the temptation or distraction of checking her phone.
In Summary…
Finding your balance is an individual pursuit so Vicky’s approach won’t necessarily work for everyone. However, it may offer some suggestions to try out if you feel that your phone use and social media engagement is tipping your sense of balance off-kilter.
Do any of these tips resonate with you?
Share in the comments below other recommendations that work for you, and for more on this subject, listen to Episode 20 Work, Life, Balance Lesson #1: Finding Balance When You Have a Smartphone & Engage With Social Media:
This is such a thoughtful and inspiring post! I love how Vicky’s tips focus on mindfulness and setting boundaries with technology. The idea of being a “mindful curator” of social media and taking regular digital detoxes really resonates with me. These practical strategies are a great reminder to stay present and prioritize what truly matters. Thank you for sharing such valuable insights!