At the end of each month, I share a few nuggets of wisdom gathered from recent conversations on the Work-Life Balance Confessions podcast. If you’d like more thought pieces and updates, you can subscribe to the blog, A Fine Balance, at www.a-fine-balance.com.
Women, Women, and More Women
Maybe it’s the company I keep. Maybe it’s the social media profiles I choose to follow. Or maybe – just maybe – the volume is being amplified on something that has always quietly made a difference: the powerful impact of women championing women.
I’m talking, of course, about this year’s International Women’s Day, which took place earlier this month.
It didn’t just pass me by this year. It rippled across my feeds, my inbox, my conversations – reverberating through my entire network in a way I haven’t experienced before.
I tuned into a panels of women speaking on a variety of subject platforms, and dipped in and out of Instagram Live conversations hosted by women, for women. I read article after article exploring this year’s theme: “Give to Gain”.
And yes – I joined in too.
Not only did I publish a podcast interview with a woman who describes herself as an “advocate for women’s empowerment, identity, and self-leadership”, Episode 58: On Balancing a Corporate Job With Creative Pursuits, Boundary-Setting and Cultural Influences – Urmi Hossain’s Story.
But I also compiled a video featuring some of the incredible women who have appeared on the podcast over the past year, pairing their voices with a song about women recognising their own strength – one I recorded with my friend and our daughters. You can watch the video here.
The Gift That Keeps on Giving
The theme of this year’s IWD “Give to Gain” sparked some debate, and I noticed a subtle tension in some of the conversations online. A question lingering beneath the surface:
Does this theme perpetuate an expectation that women – who already do so much both at home and in the workplace – should give even more?
Some responses pushed back on that idea:
“Women give more than enough, thank you very much“, read one comment online that stayed with me.
I can see where the critics are coming from.
And yet…
There is some truth in the inevitability that many of my podcast guests attest to – that the more you put in, the more you get out.
And – as was famously depicted in the classic Friends episode where Phoebe struggles to find a fully selfless good deed – the more you give, the more you gain.
Women gain a lot from being given encouragement and opportunities from women who are a few steps ahead of them. I’ve gratefully experienced it myself, not to mention heard about it multiple times in podcast interviews, for example in Episode 52: On Being Bored and Unfulfilled at Work, Virtual Diary Assistant Time-Management Tips and Finding Work-Life Balance by Quitting Your Corporate 9-5 and Starting Your Own Business – Rachel Green’s Story.
There is something deeply affirming – transformative even – about being seen, heard, and uplifted by a community that understands you and wishes you well.
Yet, similarly, there is much to gain from the act of giving – of using your own position as a woman a few steps ahead to encourage and create opportunities for women following on from behind.
It shouldn’t be your driving motivation, but it is a happy by-product.
A work-life balance win-win of sorts.
Know Thyself
At a time when it’s so easy to doom-scroll your way into comparison, it’s not always easy to recognise the gains on offer when you give to others. Women often feel like they’re pitted against each other, and it takes a strong sense of self-confidence and self-assuredness to trust that lifting others up won’t diminish you, but rather elevate you too.
It’s a message that Urmi alluded to in our conversation, and that others have referenced before on the podcast too, for example in Episode 29: DISABILITY PRIDE MONTH SPECIAL: Pursuing a Work-Life Balance When You’re Disabled – Emma Livingstone’s Story.
It’s certainly not a new concept. I was introduced this month to some commentary by the late Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks who referred to the tenth commandment, “Thou shall not covet”, as a crucial prohibition against the root cause of societal breakdown. Why should we seek what others have, he asks, when we have what Gd wants us to have? From that perspective, comparing yourself to others is the ultimate insult – a rejection of your gift of life and who you were born to be.
Soul Sisters
In contrast to how the month of March opened for me, with the expansive energy of IWD, it closed in a cosier way, with the literal and metaphorical warm embraces of women close to me – a long-awaited dinner date with a childhood friend, a female-only family trip abroad, and a road trip and weekend away with a treasured group of girlfriends.
All of these in their own way were reminders of the power of women to lift one another up.
I also forged new connections, inspired by the recent and tragic loss of a dear friend, a formidable woman who devoted much of her time and attention to empowering the women around her – both at work and in her personal life.
Indeed, overall, this month has reinforced some age-old wisdom: that definitions of success are boundless; that support and strength are not finite resources; and that in giving to others, you don’t lose anything at all.
On the contrary.
You grow.
Which in turn enhances the potential for feeling at peace with your sense of work-life balance. Or, at least affords you a strong mindset to take affirmative action to recalibrate if needed.
It’s a ‘win-win’ all round. Simples.
Coming up on the pod…
In the spirit of “Giving to Gain”, the next Work-Life Balance Confessions podcast episode features Dolly Jones, the author of “Leaving the Ladder Down: How to Combine Career and Motherhood, from the Women Who’ve Done it“, a book that celebrates and supports women facing the life-changing prospect of returning to work after having children. My conversation with Dolly was so insightful and uplifting – I’m excited to share it with listeners. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to be notified when the episode is ready to drop.
Thanks so much for taking the time to read this month’s newsletter.
I always love hearing from listeners so please go ahead and hit reply to share what you’re enjoying on the podcast, and what difference it’s making to your own pursuit of balance.
Until next time, goodbye.
Dalya
Dalya Wittenberg
Podcast Creator, Host & Producer
Work-Life Balance Confessions