As with every month’s end, as May has drawn to a close, I started thinking of a dominant theme covered on and around the podcast this month on which to base my newsletter.
My latest podcast edits have featured interviews with people whose work and personal lives have undergone huge changes; I’m moving jobs soon so there’s a lot of change for me personally on the horizon; indeed, the month of May itself is a transitional one where spring is drawing us out of the winter shade, with longer daylight hours, blossoming flowers and temperatures rising to the point that we can – at long last – safely stow away our winter coats.
Then, on the same day that I sat down to write this newsletter, I started watching a recently released Netflix documentary about Kylie Minogue. And what does she talk about? Changes – how she sees change as the antithesis of feeling trapped. Rather than being something to fear, change is something that she loves.
I couldn’t ignore it: the dominant theme that has clearly surfaced this month is, of course, “change”.
And by extension, this prompted me to consider what the key take-aways have been from interviewing people who are experiencing huge changes in both their personal and professional lives, and what impact this has on their overall sense of work-life balance.
By definition, big changes change everything. Besides the practical undertakings that come with them, they force us to shift our perspective, push us to re-evaluate what we’ve become used to, and question assumptions and rules that have guided us with certainty up until that point.
For many, change is scary. It takes a lot of energy to adapt to something new; to establish and get used to new routines, ways of life, people, systems, languages – whatever the change may bring.
Undergoing big changes also requires an element of letting go of what once was, as well as embracing new beginnings.
Being absorbed in change can understandably tip a person off balance, requiring some recalibration. How accepting and open a person is to the change they’re experiencing depends somewhat on how welcome the change is, and how much choice they had in its arrival.
In the examples I’ve encountered, the key to finding a work-life balance that works for you when experiencing big changes is identifying what is within your control, and accepting that what is not in your control can only be altered by an internal mindset shift.
Similarly, accepting help when it is needed – even when that means asking for it, which is no mean feat – can make all the difference.
What I’ve observed from interviews where big changes have suddenly revealed themselves, such as job loss (Marsha’s Story – From high-flying professional to stay-at-home-mum), grief (“On Defining Success, Learning from Adversity & Regaining Balance by Asking Two Key Questions” – featuring Erika Coleman) or poor health (“On Life Purpose, Raising Teens & Finding Work-Life Balance When You’re ‘The Strong One’” – featuring Jennifer Y Afriye), is that approaching them with grace, self-compassion, and acceptance smoothens the transition.
For those big changes that advance more slowly, like ageing (“On Housekeeping, Middle Age, and Finding Work-Life Balance When Your Marriage Ends” – featuring Helen Hayward), parenting (“On Marriage, Self-Employment, and Primary Care-Giving: Motherhood and the Mental Load” – featuring Sarah Macmull), or the realisation that having children is not possible (“On Infertility Struggles, Undesired Childlessness, and How to Regain Balance and Find Your Purpose When You Find Yourself in Unexpected Circumstances” – featuring Lana Manikowski), there is a common approach that seems to have worked consistently with a range of podcast guests: recognising – and welcoming – the changes as “seasons”, part of a natural cycle, rather than resisting and pushing against them.
When big changes shake your foundations, they have the potential to knock you off kilter and skew your balance immeasurably. Finding the strength to maintain – or regain – your balance doesn’t come easily. But doing so can steady you and provide the inner stability, calm and fortitude to face whatever comes next.
As Kylie concedes at the end of her three-part documentary, even superstar power-house pop idols are in pursuit of a balance that works. I hope she finds it.
Coming up on the pod…
In the upcoming episode of Work-Life Balance Confessions, my guest, menopause educator Jacqueline Rose, and I discuss the ultimate change of all for women, (sometimes even euphemistically referred to as “the change”): menopause.
Subscribe to the podcast on Apple or Spotify to be notified when it’s ready to download to listen to our conversation about how perimenopause and menopause impact women’s work-life balance – and what you can do to help yourself along the way.