Juggling parenting and work responsibilities in tandem is an immense challenge, regardless of what family or career set-up you have.
Next Wednesday evening, I’ll be joining parenting expert Anita Cleare at an online discussion about work-life balance for working parents. In preparation, I’ve been reflecting on all the interviews I’ve conducted with working parents for my blog and podcast ‘A Fine Balance’, drawing out any patterns or trends that could be of interest.
Here are some of my immediate observations so far:
- Finding balance can be incredibly challenging as a parent, whether you’re in paid employment, freelance or in an unpaid caring role. There’s a fine balance to strike between managing your mindset, and finding the practical solutions that work for you.
- Reflecting on whether you’ve got the balance right for you at any given moment is the first step in the pursuit of balance. From there, you’re better placed to intentionally decide whether you want to accept the way things are or make changes.
- You can learn a lot by listening to other working parents’ experiences. These can be categorised into two kinds of working parents: those further along their parenting and career journeys who have the benefit of hindsight, and those in the midst of juggling the care of young children with demanding jobs:
- I find the interviews I’ve done with parents whose children are grown-up provide a particularly helpful and inspiring perspective. Take my podcast guest Ruth Todd, for example, who is a Chief Commercial Officer and mother of two adult sons. Ruth has chosen to pursue a career involving demanding, high-pressured and full-time jobs, which she balances around a busy home life. When I interviewed her, she acknowledged that her choices often didn’t align with many of her peers who had tapered their career ambitions after having children. She said: “I don’t expect people to make the same choices I’ve made. They’re my choices. I own them. And I live with the consequences of them, and the joy of them”.
- Conversely, hearing from working mums who are still ‘in the thick of it’, such as freelance drama teacher and founder of a performing arts school, Sarah Macmull (mum of three), and full-time project manager Laura Krantz (mum of five), can spark ideas and give working parents the feeling of not being alone. Sarah, for example, summarised that in pursuit of her work-life balance, her priorities are threefold: “to be a good mum, to be a good wife, and to feel contented – career success has a significant impact on that final point”.
- Understanding the prioritisation choices of those who either don’t have children, or who stopped working after having children, can also provide a useful perspective for self-reflection. Take, for example, Laurie, who has actively chosen to remain what she blissfully refers to as “childfree, not childless”, or Nadine, who called time on her career after the birth of her first child, saying: “Being a mum is the most important job in my life“.
- The overriding lesson I keep coming back to is that finding your balance matters, critically so when you’re a working parent. In the short-term, feeling discontented with the way you balance work with parenting responsibilities can be manageable. But I’ve observed that over the long-term, it can result in feelings of guilt, frustration, or exhaustion, which can impact negatively on both mental and physical wellbeing. In the extreme, it can lead to burnout, and having to stop doing the things you want or need to do. From the conversations I’ve had, I’ve learned how unsustainable and damaging this can be.
I am so looking forward to discussing this topic in more depth with Anita, and learning from her expertise, research, and many years of supporting parents to care for their children. I hope readers, listeners and contributors of ‘A Fine Balance’ will join us for what promises to be a thought-provoking and insightful conversation. You’re welcome to send in any questions in advance, or attend in confidence and see what thoughts or questions it sparks.
Click here to register for the event, which is taking place on Wednesday 11th October at 20.00 (UK time).
