Podcast Episode Out Today: On Housekeeping, Middle Age, and the Pursuit of Balance When Your Marriage Comes to an End – Helen’s Story

My interview with Helen Hayward primarily centres around the subject of her latest book, “Home Work”, a series of essays about the work we do around the home. It was fascinating to delve into a discussion on something so ordinary, yet such an integral part of daily domestic life. Helen’s analysis illuminates a perspective of housekeeping as the creative and meaningful pursuit that she finds it to be.

Moreover, she recognises the elements of choice that prop it up: creativity, love, and “a desire for and commitment to a pleasant home“. 

In Helen’s view, the tiresome chores required to maintain a house and sustain the lives within it are more than the sum of their parts. They create a home, and a safe and comfortable haven, both for individuals and for raising a family. 

So what exactly is housekeeping – or home work as I’ve come to think of it? Home work is the sum of all our longings and efforts at home. It’s seeking a level of order that we can never quite achieve. It’s caring about a raft of things that we otherwise wouldn’t care about were it not for our desire for an commitment to a pleasant home.

Home work is the whole constant, insane, wonderful juggle of keeping up a home worth loving.

Quotes taken from Helen Hayward’s book, “Home Work: Essays on Love and Housekeeping”

Where does housework fall in your work:life ratio? It’s not something I imagine many people consider when they weigh their numbers up. Unless housekeeping is your occupation or business, I suppose it should fit on the “life” rather than “work” side. It’s unpaid, serves only your household, and occupies the time spent when not “at work”.

Yet, I think it’s a fair to assume that most people find it feels like “work” most of the time. Hard work, at that. And utterly inescapable. 

Helen’s efforts to reclaim the narrative of housekeeping, and embrace its essence is brilliant and so valuable, especially to those of us that are primary caretakers of both home and children. Her style of writing and talking is almost poetic, and it was such a pleasure to interview her, and host such a thought-provoking discussion.

During my interview with Helen, she shares the story of her husband’s decision to end their marriage after thirty years, something that Helen was not expecting. Through this, she provides some heartfelt advice on how to regain your balance when your world gets turned on its head in such a way. For Helen, her boundless curiosity afforded her a lifeline, enabling her to regain and maintain her balance. She describes how staying open and curious, even when what you’re going through is really difficult, can make it bearable.

You can listen to the full interview by following the link below, or by searching for ‘A Fine Balance’ wherever you usually get your podcasts. And if you enjoy the episode, I’d so appreciate if you could rate and review the podcast while you’re at it. Thanks!