Dear ‘Dear England’,
First of all, thank you. Thank you for providing a charming escape from reality; a few hours where I could laugh, cry, and hold my breath in anticipation, as though football is the most important thing in the world.
Now onto the work-life balance angle that this play brilliantly explores.
Its start and finish are bookended by two almost identical scenarios: one missed penalty shot resulting in disqualification from a tournament. Yet, the two realities play out very differently.
In the first, the defeated player is left isolated, distraught, silently harbouring regret and pain, which wind up skewing his balance for years. In the second, teammates and management encircle the player with support and acknowledgment, comfort and understanding. That’s not to say there isn’t still regret and pain. It is there. But it does not dominate. So the chances of it skewing the player’s balance for the duration of his career are diminished.
Here you see the impact of culture and choice.
A disappointment. A failure. A loss.
What the play demonstrates is how these things can be as big or as small as you allow them to be; how a person can have some agency in how much they allow their difficult experiences to impact their sense of balance.
And how much power leaders yield in this too.
‘Dear England’ is ultimately a story of resilience, about how a negative experience can be channeled to create something positive. I explored a similar theme in my blog post Treat ‘Em Mean, Keep ‘Em Keen, when I looked into how criticism and judgement can be internalised as fuel for crystallising and attaining ambitions.
The play delivers this inspirational and uplifting message creatively and entertainingly. And there’s something in it for everyone.
I’ve no doubt my teenage football-loving son, on whose recommendation I went to see the play, will have seen it in a totally different light to me. He’d have been drawn in by the depictions of well-known and admired footballers, and technicalities of the game, much more than I was.
But I also hope that he’ll have heard the messages that I picked up on loud and clear: that it isn’t a weakness to acknowledge your fears, and to support your teammates to feel safe to do so too. And that allowing space for vulnerability, empathy and compassion at work (and life) doesn’t mean you’re any less committed to succeeding. It just might open up the opportunity to do so in a more balanced way.
At a time when the 1990s seem like a golden age of optimism compared to today’s world, here’s an encouraging example of where progress has been made. An evolving culture where future generations can stand a better chance than their predecessors did of finding a balance that’s right for them early on in life, as they lay the foundations of their careers and undergo the milestone moments that shape their personal and professional choices.
I remember you were a great goalkeeper Dalya!